This is my story of dedication (for getting into my dream school), belief (in God), courage (to regain the confidence I have lost), and hope (in eventually, finding my Romeo). Let's see how it all works out.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Holden Caulfied would be pissed.

So, in my simple and terse words, I say to you: people are phonys. They all suck. Big time.
There are these two girls I know in my grade. Yes, we all know they're smart. Yes, we all know they're hard working. Yes, we all know they're (or will be), the 4.5s or the 2400s. Heck, one of them is already on a steady relationship. So, yes, they're perfect. Then, why the heck do we have to hear it from you guys all the time? Because I'm sick of it.

Honestly, their rudimentary talks ensue as follows:
Girl 1: Like, oh my God. I just failed my AP Chem test! [emphasis on the AP]
Girl 2: Oh my God, Girl 1. I don't think you did! You're so smart and talented.
Girl 1: No, I'm not smart! Girl 2, you're the one that tries harder and is taking harder classes.
Girl 2: Well, Girl 1, you're the one who has the highest GPA in the class!
Girl 1: Well, not for long! After I fail this AP Chem test, I'll drop down to an A.
Girl 2: It's okay! That won't happen to you.
Girl 1...

And there, I stop, because all of this hurts to type. I can still hear their shrilly voices ring in my ears. I can still see their laughs and their condescending eyes look down at everyone in the room. Oh no, they didn't. 

Ugh. It just infuriates me the fact that these girls bring my self esteem down a whole notch. Last year, they were both in my math class. In an area they thrived in, I struggled. I would be content with an 80 on a test whereas their 92 would just be pure terror and sheer embarrassment. A 200 on the PSAT wasn't good enough for them. Last year, I lost a whole bulk of confidence I had gained through my 9 years of school. Because of them, this year, I vowed I would switch out of their classes ASAP and would keep our relationships a mere nod or an occasional smile in the hallway. Everything unfolded well in the beginning. My grades were satisfactory and my friends were just perfect. However, right there, in the back of my mind, I still have their words playing around my head; their words that are holding me back after every step I take.

Honestly, these girls are pretty nice. But to me, they're just big bullies. And it pisses me off that I'm not as strong enough.

1 comment:

  1. They sound up themselves pet. They're not worth all this heartache you're putting yourself through :(

    Hazel xxx


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