Change of mind

Well, I just came back from my crazy night...and boy am I overwhelmed with an inundation of thoughts. Before I left, I intended to dedicate this post explaining my love for "Lord of the Flies" and its impact...and blah, blah, blah.
However, after watching the play, I came back to what my history teacher (and what I mentioned in the last post) said: that don't look down upon life. don't count your days down. because you only get one life.
Well, in the play, I saw so many people I knew - shy, awkward, almost antisocial - people up on the stage, acting, shouting, screaming their hearts out. And I realized that my years had been wasted. I, unlike the others, never tried anything new in life. I, afraid of the world, just stayed with what I thought society deemed as important.
This play made me realize that it's okay to be stupid. It's okay to trip. It's okay if your hair is a bit - or a lot messed up. It's okay if your face is a little shiny. Or you sometimes spit when you talk. Because, in essence, this things don't matter. These aren't the things that people look for. People want a confident, happy, true to themselves person.
And I want to be that person. And at the same time, I want to try new experiences and try new ways of living. Maybe do something wrong. Maybe do something daring. I want to change. Now.
So, my goal for this year: despite the SATs, ACTs, Subject tests, APs, and the ridiculous amount of junior year load, I will try out for the spring musical. Maybe I'll be part of the tech crew. Maybe, I'll audition for a role.
I don't know yet, but I'm ready to change.